Too busy doubting myself to acknowledge my true worth…..

Photo by Jordan Wozniak on Unsplash

Throughout my life, I have always taken the unconventional path…. Some may say I have done things completely backwards. Having children at a young age whilst living at home with my mum, not being married, then deciding it was a good idea to move out and stand on my own two feet… I had not even thought about my career.

Suddenly I have so many responsibilities, and I have two little human beings looking up to me for guidance (Yikes!). I was in and out of little jobs which would never give my kids the start they needed in life… so I decided to give education another go. A ‘mature’ (whilst feeling rather immature) student, here studying psychology at the university of Manchester. Still no set plan on what I wanted to do after university, but that is what I am here for right? To learn new things, meet new people, experience new topics… Surely it will all fall into place and I will stumble across something I like and that I am interested in? erm no… I think I was quite naive in that sense…

Lockdown half-way through year 1 gave me sort of a ‘free pass’ to push me into year 2. I felt like id barely put any work in whatsoever. But I still did it, I made it into year 2!!

Suddenly my first assignment is to write a CV and cover letter and to apply for my short work placement. Erm excuse me? Thinking about a career already? Creating a CV!? But I do not have any skills! There is nothing from year 1 I could include in there! Maybe I can write about the kids? But is an ‘experienced nappy changer’ even a thing? Ugh I am going to have to write about my past jobs…. But they were rubbish! How on earth am I going to write 3 pieces of a4 paper about myself to make myself look desirable to employees? I do not even know what I want to do as a career yet! But I need to use this placement as an opportunity to get experience in an area I am interested in and not waste it! … As you can tell I was unbelievably stressed by this. I honestly felt as though there was absolutely nothing I could offer to an employer.

Breathe Phoebe…. After thinking long and hard I decided I wanted to pursue a career with children/ young adults. I felt like this was close to my heart and was an environment I could see myself in. My two children are my absolute world, and I honestly believe there is nothing better in life than seeing a smile on a child’s face. So, if I can make that happen with children who have not had the best start in life, then to me, that is perfect. At this moment in time, I STILL have not got a specific career in mind. But this felt like a good starting point. I applied for a 30-hour placement with a company called ‘Reach out’ who mentor young adults… and off I went! Following the marking criteria for the CV assignment closely, I managed to use skills from both my past jobs and my personal life to create a CV and cover letter which made me shine like a star! Who would have thought working behind a bar would provide valuable skills that could be used when working with children!? I catered my CV and cover letter specifically for the role I had applied for at reach out. I managed to pinpoint valuable skills, give examples and elaborate them, to explain how and why they would be useful in the role. I gained a first-class grade in the assignment and secured a place at Reach out!! I had spent so much time doubting myself that I just couldn’t see how valuable I actually am. I have definitely learnt that no matter how small of a step you take in life, it will always be useful in the future! And, its never too late to make a plan!